Figments of Your Imagination
by Xmarksthespot
Summary: It was her own fault for holding onto a figment of an imagination – a memory of a boy she once knew but no longer knows – and then falling in love with him.


**Title**: Figments of Your Imagination  
**By**: Xmarksthespot  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own YJ  
**Note**: Takes place before YJ:Invasion

* * *

Barbara whips her head to the side the moment she hears the buzzing of her phone, and grabs hold of the device, ignoring the _thump, thump, thump _ of her chest. She taps onto the buttons before flashing a smile to no one in particular, and rereads the message over and over again to make sure she's not mistaken.

_Hey – D._

She gleams at the sight of his text message, and quickly replies. She then sits on her bed, staring at the screen for several minutes before solemnly putting her phone back down again. She sighs, turning to her homework. It's already nine in the evening, and her goal is to sleep before eleven. But with the frequent glances at her phone, she wonders if she can actually accomplish that.

_Silly_, she tells herself, because if he _does_ message her, then her cell would vibrate, _there's no point in checking it every fifteen seconds_. But she does so anyway, _just in case_.

But the phone doesn't light up. And she can already hear the _kerplunk_ of her excitement dropping. She continues to peak at her phone screen with every page she turns in her textbook until ten minutes later, when a louder vibrating noise is heard. Barbara almost bends the pages of her textbook in attempt to reach for the phone.

_Wanna hang out this weekend? – D._

She instantly agrees, suggesting a few movies she thinks he would be interested in, or even just a regular catch-up. She doesn't care. She just wants to see and talk to her favourite blue-eyed boy instead of imagining a conversation with him, which she does often when she misses him.

_Thump, thump, thump._

She really misses him now.

It's been almost too long since their last get-together, due to his extracurricular activities. Barbara almost wishes she has the same passion as him, because then, they would be in the same classes. A little bit much to an outsider, but to her, seeing Dick during lunch break isn't enough. Especially when it's only once a week, or once a month.

Barbara shakes her head, ignoring her fantasy of being in the same class as him._ Bette would make fun of me_ again_._ She rolls her eyes at the thought, knowing her friend has a knack for teasing her and Dick together, claiming that one day, the pair would get married. If only the blonde was there during their childhood years, when all of their classmates said similar things.

She always replies with the same thing after each proclamation: "We grew up together. Dick's like a brother to me." But perhaps she should have thought about it more carefully before saying it, because in school, when you're paired up with someone without your consent, the first thing to do is to reject the notion, isn't it? Fate just has a way of making the things Barbara says come true.

Dick only sees her as a close friend – a sister, at most.

_Great! Probably not a movie though, cause I have something to do at four. – D. _

There is a mix of emotions swimming through Barbara's mind as she reads his text, half smiling, and half frowning at the words on the screen. _Of course_ Dick has other plans – he's a busy guy. She kind of almost expects it.

Although she's disappointed, she texts him with a cheery reply, telling him that she doesn't mind.

She turns back to her homework, ignoring the bright red lights coming from her alarm clock, indicating what time it is and how far behind she is in her work. It slightly bothers her, how long it takes for Dick to reply to her texts, and how she's so distracted when he _does_ send messages to her, but it's her own fault really.

Her own fault for holding onto a figment of an imagination – a memory of a boy she once knew but no longer knows – and then falling in love with him.

Barbara has long accepted the fact that the two would never be as close as they used to be. No more seeing each other after school to play with action figures, no more running after each other in the park. In fact, it has gotten to the point where she's not even sure if they could be labelled as _best friends_ anymore – not with Wally West in the picture, despite being from Central. And with Dick constantly talking about the other redhead, Barbara knows that he's taken over her role as the closest person in Dick's life, aside from Bruce and Alfred.

_Maybe go out for a quick lunch or something? – D._

She accepts, but her fingers linger over the buttons. Barbara feels like she should say something else – something to _keep this conversation going_. But nothing comes to mind, because it's gotten to a point where nothing she says interests him, and nothing he says is comprehensible to her. She hits send.

Their chat is over, Barbara realizes, and forces herself back into her school work.

She knows his favourite colour is red, that the small bear sitting on top of his desk is from the circus, and she can probably list every game he owned as a child. But what he does in his spare time, what he thinks about certain things – what he finds _fascinating_ – are things she doesn't know the answer to now.

Still, she can't help but turn to her phone every once in a while, light up the screen again just in case she didn't feel the vibration coming from it, _hoping_ to see the notification from her inbox.

He doesn't respond, so with a sigh, Barbara pulls her hair back into a ponytail and turns to her work. _It's time to start focusing_, she thinks, and stares intensely back at her books.

But then he texts her again, some fifteen minutes later, and her heart begins to drum.

_Boom, boom, boom._

She picks up her phone, and anticipates talking to him again, hoping that he's suggesting they meet earlier, or for a longer period of time. Maybe, she thinks with a smile, Bruce has cancelled all of his plans, so she can actually see Dick at school now.

She reads the message on her screen, and her smile falters.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she responds. Barbara breathes a heavy sigh, and reminds herself that this isn't the first time this has happened. Rereading the message, the redhead feels stupid for hoping for the best.

_Hey – D._

_Hi! – B._

_Wanna hang out this weekend? – D._

_Definitely! We can go see that new crime movie coming out, or meet at our regular café to smuggle some unhealthy snacks that Alfred wouldn't approve of? –B._

_Great! Probably not a movie though, cause I have something to do at four. – D. _

_No problem! So what should we do? –B. _

_Maybe go out for a quick lunch or something? – D._

_Sure. Can't wait to see you. –B._

_Sorry, Babs! Just found out Bruce already has plans for me this weekend. Maybe some other time? – D._

_Don't worry about it, but you're going to have to make it up to me. I won't always be here waiting for you, you know. – B._

_It'll be a whole day dedicated to how great you are. – D._

_Have fun with whatever you're doing, Dick. –B._

Your previous message could not be sent.

Barbara stares half-heartedly at her phone, and tosses it to the side of her bed. She doesn't bother trying to resend the message again. Rather, she rests her head back down onto her pillow with her books in her hands, and tries to push away the urge to cry. It doesn't really work though, because–

_Plink._

–_s_he still loves him.

_Crack!_

Even if he's imaginary.

.

* * *

**A/N**: So I realize that Barbara's a strong person (at least, in the comics that I've read, she seems to be), and this _might_ be out of character for her, but truthfully, I never intended it to be in character. I know, that's horrible of me to write a fanfic, use names, but not even use their character, but to be honest, this was more for me in a way.

This was a way of confronting myself, saying that yes, I'm in love with a boy I've known since forever, but it's gotten to a point where I'm not in love with _him_ anymore, but just the idea or a memory of what he used to be. And the thing is, I grew up with cousins and friends constantly teasing him and I - saying that we're going to start dating and get married and all that, and it just got to my head one day, sometime after I realized I really _do_ like him, or maybe even love him, that maybe one day, we _will_ get married. But we're not. And it's never going to work. This is just a constant struggle, admitting this to myself, so I had to write it out.

I decided to go with Barbara and Dick as the characters though, because I noticed that in the first episode that Barbara appeared in, there was almost a jealous-part to her when she saw Artemis, and I felt it was easily relatable - that she had no idea what was going on, that she might have feelings for a boy who's rarely ever there...

But I hope you guys enjoyed this nonetheless, and if you do, please review! :)


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